Infuriated.

I just don't know what else to do with myself anymore. I feel like water sometimes when I get this mad and anxious... and I just want to fall to the floor. I try SO HARD to be tranquil about these sort of things... I try SO HARD not to let things get to me. Today I reached the end of my rope. I can't take this anymore. I get constant anxiety attacks now. I can't deal. I don't know what else to do.

The douche stole my mom's pearls because he thinks she's stealing his things.

That isn't a father. That isn't an adult. That isn't a normal human being.

I never truly hated anyone before. Mostly I just disliked someones ideas, or disliked their personality. But this.. I fucking hate. I feel like I have this constant look of sorrow on my face now... my eyebrows hurt. But everytime I try and be happy, or try to look happy, my eyebrows end up sinking again. My heart sinks.

I just wish someone were there to take me away from all this all the time. I know, I know, only I could really do that. I wish someone would just hold me and tell me it's going to be okay, because my own word isn't enough.

Better no dad than a bad one.

Listen to...

'I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You.' By Colin Hay. Smooths the senses :)

I'm listening to mom and dad talk legal shit outside. Funny how they're able to carry an intelligent conversation now. Finally. Yet, when they first started talking, it was like this: "You go out last night?" "No, I had to work! Did you? .......You probably did, you're just not telling me."

Lame. Don't hold grudges, people. It makes you sound really dumb.

Sitting on a corn flake waiting for the van to come...

 I need to be driven.

Someone drive me.

Oye.

So I had another dream about dad... I was walking around at school and I saw this crowd. Right in the middle of the crowd I saw dad, with this sutpid expression on his face and waving at me trying to get my attention. I completely ignored him and walked on.

Can I honestly say I don't love my dad anymore?

Yes.

I have too many things on my mind.

:)

I have never been more into my uh, passion before.  Sure, a compliment here and there on my artwork is nice.  But to be an influence on another person... THAT is what makes it worth it. I'm so glad I'm making an impact.

Kudos, Xtina. You're gonna be fine.